Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Metallica's "Fade To Black"

by Zernain Villain after a lethal concoction of Friday (the 17th) night's Absolut, Fundador, and Hennessy (courtesy of the big bosses), and Saturday's night out with Ms. Poison Ivy

Life, it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters, no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself
But it's too late
Now I can't think
Think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though
It never existed
Death greets me warm
Now I will just say goodbye

Thursday, December 16, 2010

5th Xmas Toy Fair

What: "The 5th Christmas Toy Fair"
When: Friday, Dec. 17 at 10:00am - Sunday, Dec. 19 at 10:00pm
Where: Megatrade Hall 1, 5th Level, Bldg. B, SM Megamall
http://www.toyconph.com
http://www.facebook.com/toyconph

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Coheed & Cambria's "In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth: 3"

by Zernain Villain on a sober Sunday afternoon with a hangover

A broad incision sits across the evening
The victim to our father's lost war
The restless children sit and mourn the graves
Of those they've never seen before
Will they be buried here among the dead?
In the silent secret

The pioneers
In dealing with it they march for dawn, of will and worthy
The truth be told the child was born
Man your own jackhammer
Man your battle stations
We'll have you dead pretty soon
And now
Sincerely written from my brother's blood machine
Man your battle stations
We'll have you home pretty soon
And now/tonight

Awake through motion with curiosity to curtain your first move
Over arms-length they'll break protocol
Jealous envy for the youngest one
To be the hero is all I'll ask
Can I be buried here among the dead?
With room to honor me here in the end
You'll be better off too soon
You'll be better off when you get home

For you,
I'd do anything just to make you happy, hear you tell me that you're proud of me
For them,
I'll kill anything, cut the throats of babies for them, break their hearts for they were them
Waiting for you to say: I love you too

The navigator
The pilot
Her favorite
The one they call the vision that bears the gift

Will,
Do the children really understand the things you did to them?
And why oh why
Should they conjure up the will for you my love I would kill him
We're coming home pretty soon
Coming home

In the seventh turning hour
Will the victim's shadow fall?
Should the irony grow hungry?
With the victory and all they sought for
We were one among the fence
One among the fence

We're coming home

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Coheed & Cambria's "The Ring in Return"

by Zernain Villain on a drunken Saturday evening

WOW Flippines Slow-gans!

Pilipinas: More Asia Than Malaysia!
Boom Boom Mayon! Bye Bye Albay!
Bohol--Go To Hill!
Bakat Sa Mabalacat!
Be Cool, Bicol!
Make Roro To Mindoro!
Haller? Baler?
San Juan, Juan-derful!
Pinas--Ganda Mo Teh!
Cubao. Bow.
Maganda Raw Sa Tuguegarao!
Mag Masbate Araw-Araw!
Sa Pandacan, Big Time Ka!
Thanks For Coming, Camiguin!
PH OK! PH OK!
Tata Tete Titi Toto Tutuban!
Make A Baby In Macabebe!
Virac--You Rock!
Kamuning Get Me!
Bongga Ka Day Sa Norzagaray!
In Na In Sa Philippine!
Hanap Mo Ba Maluwag? Halina Sa Laoag!
Go Gaga In Naga!
Quezon In The Zone!
Vigan: Punta Na KaiVigan!
Kung Ikaw Ay Pagod, Gulong Mo Ay Pudpod...Pagudpod!
Babaeng Balbon--Marami Sa Malabon!
Better Leyte Than Never!
Ang Lupet Ng Calumpit!
Boracay, You Sexy Beach!
We Fly High In Capiz!
Whee! Tawi-Tawi!
Tikman Ang Kalinga Ng Kalinga!
Walang Aayaw Sa Apayao!
A Long, Long Time Agoo...
Maliit Navotas Lumalaki!
Bulacan CAN!
Maraming Gig Sa Taguig!
Be Happy And Gay At Baclaran!
El Nido: It's Everybody's Milk!
It's Not A Summer Vacation, Unless It's A Samar Vacation!
Kamias--May Asim Pa!
Bagong Antique!
Sa Marinduque, Malalaki Ang Pu...so!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Bloc Party's "Like Eating Glass"

by Zernain Villain on a cloudy Saturday afternoon

It's so cold in this house
Open mouth swallowing us
The children sent home from school
Will not stop crying

And I know that you're busy too
I know that you care
You got your finger on the pulse
You got your eyes everywhere
And it hurts all the time when you don't return my calls
And you haven't got the time to remember how it was

It's so cold in this house (2x)

I can't eat, I can't sleep
I can't sleep, I can't dream
An aversion to light
Got a fear of the ocean

Like drinking poison, like eating glass (3x)
Like drinking poison, like eating

It's so cold in this house (2x)
Take me out tonight (2x)

Like drinking poison, like eating glass (3x)
Like drinking poison, like eating

Come and show me how it was

We've got crosses on our eyes
Been walking into the walls again
We've got crosses on our eyes
Been walking into the furniture
We've got crosses on our eyes
For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse
We've got crosses on our eyes
We've been walking into the furniture

Sunday, November 21, 2010

"May baril walang bala--props lang pala!" (QuickieComics.com)

http://quickiecomics.com http://quickiecomics.com

"Di ako makahinga, ang init!" (QuickieComics.com)

http://quickiecomics.com http://quickiecomics.com

"Three against one? No fair!" (QuickieComics.com)

http://quickiecomics.com http://quickiecomics.com

"Fast as fast can be, you'll never catch me!" (QuickieComics.com)

http://quickiecomics.com http://quickiecomics.com

"Bilisan niyo! Hik! May shoot pa tayo." (QuickieComics.com)

http://quickiecomics.com http://quickiecomics.com

Monday, November 1, 2010

Ducktionary

maliit na duck - PANDUCK
tirahan ng maliit na duck - PANDUCKAN
mataas na duck - BUNDUCK
nagulat na duck - NASINDUCK
photogenic na duck - KODUCK
malaking duck sa Ilocos - DUCKIL
manggagamot na duck - DUCKTOR
duck sa bus - CONDUCKTOR
madaldal na duck - DUCKDUCK
pantakip sa bibig ng madaldal na duck - DUCK TAPE

French fries English

bald - CAL VOU
city - CE VOU
big mouth - CHEZ MOUSSA
musical band - COM VOU
booger - COUP LA NGOUT
jail - COUP LOU NGAN
unfaithful husband - COUP MA LE WAH
washroom - COUP VAETTA
super boobs - LA QUE ZOUSOU
behind - LE COUD
turn - LE COUP
five - LE MAH
alms - LE MOUSSE
fly - LE FAD
confused - LE TOU
liter - LE TRUE
kitchen sink - LE VA VOU
did not take a bath - LE VAG
you're hot - LE VOUG MOU
no longer a virgin - LES FAG
unclear - MA LA VOU
caught in the act - NA VOU COUP
drugs - SHA VOU
wounds - VA COUP CANGH
goodbye - VA VOU
always up - VA YAGRIAH
feathers - VALAJE VOU
open wide - VOU CAMOU
coconut - VOU COUP
nagger - VOU NGA NGUERRAH
circumcise - VOU RATATTOULE
tadpole - VOU TEITEH
nagsulat nito - VOU VOU

Sunday, October 24, 2010

NIHONGONGO (Unglish-Japanis transrations)

Is this your property? ARIMOTO?
Yes, this is my property. ARIKOTO.
Is this yours? SAYOBATO?
This is mine. SAKINITU.
Can I have it? AKINATO?
You can have it. SAYONATO.
Can we have it? SAMINATO?
You haven't washed your face. MIMUTAMATAMO.
You've grown so thin! KITANABUTOMO.
We saw each other. KITAKAMI.
We had a big get-together. KITAKITAKAMI.
Have a drink before you go. TOMAKAMUNA.
That was my assumption. INAKARAKO.
Let's go quickly! BATSINATAYO!
We will boycott the election. KAMINOBOTO.
Underarm odor. KIRIKIRIPAWA.
Are you a victim of discrimination? MINAMATAKABA?
I give up. SUKONAKO.
Ouch! HARAIKU!
What a sad life it is. HAINAKU.
I'm going to leave you. SAWANAKOSAYO.
Just take it! SAYONARANG!
You are very thin! PUROKABUTO.
You look like your mom/dad. KAMUKAMUPAPAMU. KAMUKAMUMAMAMU.
She looks like you. KAMUKAMU.
Are you nervous? KAKABAKABA?
Are you a loyal customer? SUKIKABA?
Later. SAKANA.
I surrender. SUKUNAKO.
Just surrender. SUKUNAKASI.
Remember? ARAARAMO?

ABUSE in a sentence

UNGLISH

1. Use BE COOL and I'LL BUY in a sentence.
We went to Mayon volcano in I'LL BUY, BE COOL.

2. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
(phone rings) Hello? Who SCHOOLING please?

3. Use HOSTESS in a sentence.
(phone rings again) Hello? HOSTESS?

4. Use STATUE in a sentence.
(phone rings for a third time) Hello? Honey? STATUE?

5. Use CALCULATOR in a sentence.
(phone rings for a fourth time) Ok, I can't talk to you right now. I'll CALCULATOR.

6. Use AFFECT in a sentence.
She's wearing AFFECT diamond ring.

7. Use ADIEU in a sentence.
If you're ADIEU, Hitler will kill you.

8. Use DECANTER in a sentence.
You can pay for that over DECANTER.

9. Use DELETION in a sentence.
The balat of DELETION is crispy.

10. Use DESPISE in a sentence.
Who baked all DESPISE?

11. Use DIFFERENT and DIFFERENTIAL in a sentence.
I'm looking for DIFFERENT of this boy to get DIFFERENTIAL consent so he can join the field trip.

12. Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
I went to Toby's yesterday to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.

13. Use DEPOSIT and ASSOCIATE in a sentence.
The restroom's flooded, DEPOSIT is leaking, and I ASSOCIATE in the toilet.

14. Use DEPRESS and PERSUADING in a sentence.
We got married by DEPRESS last year and today is our PERSUADING anniversary.

15. Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
He waits for the bus at DEVASTATION every morning.

16. Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in a sentence.
(at the gas station) I asked the attendant, “Do you PAMPERS or do I PAPERS?”

17. Use DIFFERENCE and DIFFERENCES in a sentence.
(in a royal family) A baby boy is called DIFFERENCE while a baby girl is called DIFFERENCES.

18. Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DETAIL, and DEFEAT in a sentence.
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE but DETAIL landed before DEFEAT.

19. Use PROTESTANT in a sentence.
Apples, ponkans, and grapes can be bought at the PROTESTANT.

20. Use IRAQ, IRAN, and EGYPT in a sentence.
IRAQ is bigger than a stone; IRAN is faster than a walk; and EGYPT is smaller than a truck.

21. Use CUISINE in a sentence.
Did you review for the CUISINE Math?

22. Use PENIS in a sentence.
No, PENIS your homework first!

23. Use UNO, DOS, TRES in a sentence.
UNO! DOS TRES are burning!

24. Use FASCINATE in a sentence.
My girlfriend has a new blouse with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only FASCINATE.

25. Use DEFICIT in a sentence.
Before you jump in the pool, first check how DEFICIT.

26. Use CHICKEN, NUT, BREAD in a sentence.
My wife can't swim, when she jumped in the water CHICKEN NUT BREAD.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Accounting terms (Mga katawagan sa pagtutuos)

Ingles - Flipino
1. Asset - Ari
2. Fixed asset - Aring nakatirik
3. Liquid asset - Aring tumutulo
4. Written-off asset - Aring pinutol
5. Cut-off time - Oras ng pagputol
6. Depreciation - Pagkalaspag ng ari
7. Fully depreciated asset - Aring laspag na laspag
8. Earning asset - Aring ganado pa
9. Non-earning asset - Aring baldado na
10. Owned asset - Sariling ari
11. Other asset - Ari ng iba
12. Miscellaneous asset - Mga aring pinagsama-sama
13. Erroneous entry - Mali ang pagkapasok
14. Double entry - Dalawa ang pinasukan
15. Multiple entry - Labas pasok
16. Correcting entry - Itinama ang pagpasok
17. Reversing entry - Baligtad ang pasok
18. Tangible asset - Aring nasasalat
19. Dispensed - Nilabasan
20. Undispensed - Hindi nilabasan
21. Frozen asset - Pinatigas na ari

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Payak na tanong, palpak na sagot (part 1)

Tanong: Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?
Sagot: Utong.

T: Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?
S: Umiilaw.

T: Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?
S: Humanitarian.

T: Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga?
S: Ninja.

T: Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?
S: Sunog.

T: Magbigay ng sikat na Willie.
S: Willie the Pooh.

T: Ang mga Hindu ay galing sa anong bansa?
S: Hindonesia.

T: Anong hayop si King Kong?
S: Pagong.

T: Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.
S: Tae.

T: Saang bansa matatagpuan ang mga Canadians?
S: Canadia.

T: Kumpletuhin, Little Red?
S: Ribbon.

T: Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?
S: Buhok.

T: Magbigay ng pagkain na dumidikit sa ngipin.
S: Tinga.

T: Anong oras kadalasang pinapatay ang TV?
S: Pag balita.

T: Ano ang tawag sa anak ng taong grasa?
S: Baby oil.

T: Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halo-halo?
S: Sweetzerland.

T: Sinong higanteng "G" ang tinalo ni David?
S: Godzilla.

T: Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?
S: Itlog ng tao.

T: Anong "S" ang tawag sa duktor na nag-o-opera?
S: Sadista.

T: "Blank is the best policy."
S: Ice tea.

T: Anong parte ng itlog ang masarap?
S: Yung tangkay.

T: Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?
S: Sa likod.

T: Fill in the blanks, "Beauty is in the eye of the?"
S: Tiger.

T: Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?
S: Saging.

T: Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Ingles sa toyo?
S: Baliw.

T: Anong tawag mo sa anak ng kapatid ng nanay mo?
S: Kamag-anak.

T: Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?
S: Sa motel.

T: Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?
S: Cold water.

T: Sinong cartoon character ang sumisigaw ng "yabba dabba doo?"
S: Si Scooby Dooby Doo.

T: Ilan ang bituin sa American flag?
S: Madami.

T: Ano ang tawag sa taong isa lang ang mata?
S: Abnormal.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Hindi lahat...

Hindi lahat ng kinakalabit, gitara.
Hindi lahat ng pini-finger, piano.
Hindi lahat ng binobomba, poso.
Hindi lahat ng binabayo, bigas.
Hindi lahat ng inaararo, bukid.
Hindi lahat ng kinakabayo, aso.
Hindi lahat ng pinapasukan, eskuwelahan.
Hindi lahat ng nilalabasan, exit.
Hindi lahat ng sinusubo, kanin.
Hindi lahat ng pinapapak, ulam.
Hindi lahat ng hiyas, perlas.
Hindi lahat ng matigas, bato.
Hindi lahat ng batuta, pamalo.
Hindi lahat ng hiwa, sugat.
At hindi lahat ng dumudugo, may sugat.
Hindi lahat ng butas, sa bibig.
Hindi lahat ng buhok, sa ilong.
Pero lahat ng may ulo, may buhok.
Hindi lahat ng nag-a-attention, sundalo.
Hindi lahat ng may ugat, puno.
Hindi lahat ng pinipisil, pisngi.
At hindi lahat ng pisngi, sa mukha.
Hindi lahat ng bibig, may ngipin.
Pero lahat ng may bigote, bibig.
Hindi lahat ng tumatayo, may paa.
Pero lahat ng may ulo, tumatayo.
Hindi lahat ng bola, tumatalbog.
Pero lahat ng itlog, binabate.
Hindi lahat ng binibiyak, niyog.
Pero lahat ng mani, binibiyak.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Rebelation

rebelation - (noun) when you realize for the first time, either in a moment of clarity or with the help of alcohol, that you are a fucking rebel.

"I just had a rebelation while drinking gin-bulag and listening to Yano, and I don't know why it never dawned on me before."

Hindi ito kasingkahulugan ng "rebelasyon" sa Flipino.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Temporary restraining hoarder

temporary restraining hoarder - (noun) also called TRH, a person who takes an item off the shelf in a grocery or department store, then later decides he/she doesn't want it and places it on some random shelf elsewhere in the store or, in case of a hard-to-find (HTF) toy, hides it behind the pegs or other boxes to get back to it later.

"I know a toy shop owner in Greenhills who's a fucking TRH, buying HTF stuff in the malls and reselling it at twice the price in his freaking shop."

Sa Flipino, ano kaya ito?

What's in a name?

T: Ano first name ni Keno?
S: Krisa Keno.

T: Ano apelyido ni Sisa?
S: Sisa Mistrit.

T: Ano surname ni Beast?
S: Beast Kwit.

T: Ano first name ni Janno?
S: Eduman Janno.

T: Ano last name ni Cedie?
S: Cedie Player.

T: Ano apelyido ni Denzel?
S: Denzel Weta.

T: Ano first name ni Nemo?
S: Sarahgero Nemo.

T: Ano surname ni Punisher?
S: Punisher Ranno.

T: Ano last name ni Curly?
S: Curly Gazpi.

T: Ano first name ni Squall?
S: Piolopa Squall.

T: Ano apelyido ni Anchor?
S: Anchor Tis.

T: Ano surname ni Jewel?
S: Jewel Torre.

T: Ano first name ni Basilio?
S: Lacto Basilio.

T: Ano last name ni Kula?
S: Kula Desma.

T: Ano apelyido ni Joseph?
S: Joseph Protgam.

T: Ano first name ni Pikachu?
S: Cherrypie Pikachu.

T: Ano surname ni Aiko?
S: Aiko Zada.

T: Ano first name ni Volta?
S: Johntra Volta.

T: Ano last name ni Christopher?
S: Christopher Minute.

T: Ano first name ni Kenny G?
S: Johnep Kenny G.

T: Ano apelyido ni Palito?
S: Palito Lippi.

T: Ano first name ni Diether?
S: Tirso Cruz Diether.